The Dare
by The Vampyre's Widow
Summary: A very funny e-mail rpg that I finally got around to posting. Poor Sage!


The Dare

Co-authored by Riana and Amazon

Amazon Note: This was an e-mail scenario between my friend, Riana and I. The matter of time does not exist in here as well as slight punctuation's. There are a lot of inside jokes so just ignore some stuff in here. This also took place when I liked Ryo as an explanation for the beginning scene; Riana is Sage's cousin. Please don't die laughing, we will not be held responsible if anyone does. Doumo arigato and enjoy the story.   

*Ryo's caught with his arm draped around Amazon's shoulder on the couch*

Riana: Aww, so you're sweet on Amazon, eh Ryo?

Cye (_Franticly): Don't say that! Last time we got him mad he flambéed the couch! With me on it!_

Riana _(Whispering):__ It was Rowen's fault. He spilt some very FUNKY, stinky chemicals all over Ryo's favorite shirt, then his science experiment..._

Rowen: His name was Pooky!

Riana: Whatever. Anyway, 'Pooky' used it as a toilet. Then Sage got it mixed up with his muddy gym cloths and made things even worse. Needless to say, Ryo was very agitated and well, next thing we knew, the couch's on fire!

Sage: Yep. I remember that. But you two really should be more open about this whole dating thing. Dimitri too.

Riana: Hey! At least he's [Dimitri] GOT a girlfriend. Ryo does too. Frankly, I think you and Cye are the only ones without one.

Cye_ (Blushing): Uh, actually, I..._

*Everyone turns to Cye* Well, her name's Julia. And...

Sage_ (Beaming): Way to go fish-boy! _

Riana _*with her hands on her hips__ *: Look, why don't you just stop until you actually have a girlfriend, hmm? _

Sage: That won't be long.

Rowen: Wanna bet on it?

Sage: Bet what?

Ryo: If you lose, and can't get a girlfriend by Friday, we get to hang you up by your toenails, in the forest, with only your boxers. Plus, you have to let ALL of us have first dibs on the bathroom. Meaning, we go before you.

Sage: And when I win, I get to have you all buy me everything I want from the local bookstore. Rowen, how'd you make YOUR Girlfriend?

[Author's note: Amazon literally made (we're talking physics borrowed from Tenchi here) Rowen a girlfriend in previous episodes]

Riana shaking her finger: Uh-uh-uh. No making girls. That doesn't count.

Amazon: I get some say so in this since I'm the one that 'challenged' him. 

Rowen: Well, not really, but okay

Sage: Nani? 

Amazon _(continuing anyway): Sage does get to be hung by his toenails upside down BUT... _

Sage: Why do I get a feeling I'm no going to like this? 

Kento: Shut up! 

Amazon: Sage gets to be hung by his toenails BUT NAKED!! 

Sage (_With humongous eyes): NO! NO!_

Riana _(blushing): uh, guys, I've seen some of the more revealing baby pictures _

*Sage pales*

Riana*shrugs*: Aunt Date was always very willing to show you off, Sage. He wasn't naked, but pretty darn close to it. Anyway, it's not a very pretty picture. How about we go for a Speedo, eh? 

Sage: NANI?!

Riana: Isn't it better than being NAKED?

Kento *barely able to breathe; he's laughing so hard*: How about a hippie Speedo? You know, flowers, peace signs and pink and lime green!

Amazon _(Smiling wickedly): A hippie Speedo sounds just fine to me. Sage, I'M the one that created Haruka AND Endivia [Kento's girlfriend; a 'centauress' also created] for Rowen and Kento so if you want to know the way to create a girlfriend you need to ask me. _

Sage: How do I make a girlfriend? *nearly leaps at her* 

Amazon: I'm not telling because you need to catch yourself a girlfriend not one that's already devoted to you. 

Sage: Aww, MAN! 

Amazon: And they said you helped save the world. 

Ryo: Actually I saved the world. 

Amazon: I know, honey.

Sage *glaring*: Yeah, well without us, you'd never be able to create that white armor.

Ryo: And without me, you'd still be in Talpa's belly.

Sage: speaking of,

Kento: Talpa's belly?

Sage *Whapping him upside the head*: NO! the white armor. How come none of us don't have any second armors like that?

Ryo *in mock arrogance*:  guess its cause I'M The most mature of all of you. 

*the other ronins start advancing towards him...* ALL: Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch....

Ryo: Uh, guys, I was just kidding.... Guys?

Amazon (stepping in front of him protectively) Lay a hand on my boyfriend guys and NONE of you, and I repeat, NONE of you will live to see another day. 

Ryo: Yeah, what she said. 

Amazon: Besides SAGE, shouldn't you be out trying to get a girlfriend? The clock is ticking, tick tock... 

Sage: All right already. *he leaves and the other Ronins decide not to kill Ryo* 

Amazon *turns to Riana*: What kind of Speedo do you think will better suit him? The electric pink or lime green?

Riana: Hmm...how about both? Half pink, half green. *Snickers* Maybe we can go for green and dye his hair pink? 

Kento: Ooh....he'd KILL us.

Riana: Yeah, but where'd the fun be if he didn't?

Rowen*going for the keys* I'll go get the hair stuff...

Amazon: Okay Rowen, we'll do his hair like a clowns. Cye go with him and get the Speedo and invite everyone here this Saturday. 

Cye: Okay! 

*Rowen and Cye leave*

Riana:*Smirking* This is gonna be good....

Ryo: Betcha I couldn'tve made it any better myself...

Riana *with a light bulb over her head* But I could...

Kento: Uh-oh. I don't like that look

Riana: Who was his last girlfriend?

Ryo: I dunno, but I can find out!

Riana: Good. Why don't we show her what a 'clown' she dumped, eh?

Amazon: Ooo, cruel *smiles wickedly* I love it. Of course we ARE going to charge admission to see the former warrior of Halo in a Speedo and with dyed hair right? 

Kento: Double cruel! 

Ryo: We could get money for that. I like it.

Riana: Why don't we sweeten the deal a bit?

 *Grabbing a computer and quickly typing out an email to the warlords (hint hint: their address is badboyz@dynasty.com *I'm just kidding, don't email the poor guy who DOES have that)

Step right up warlords! Come see your former opponent in almost nothing on with pink hair! THAAAAT's Right! PINK HAIR! Special immortal's price: $25 !!!! Hurry, we won't last long after he gets down, and neither will this special value! Come see your local good guys for more information....

*Amazon's reading over her shoulder and falls to the floor laughing while the Ronins try to hold back their own laughter. Suddenly the five warlords appear.* 

Anubis: Thanks for the email, Ri. You don't mind if I call you Ri, do you?

Dais: Do we really want to see this? 

Cale: I have.

*The warlords look at him strangely*

Cale: Sage humiliated, that is 

Sekhmet: Can we tape it? 

Anubis: The perfect way to celebrate coming back to life. 

Amazon: Since you guys are our friends, we'll only charge you five bucks. 

Ryo: Do ya think Cye and Rowen have gotten the stuff yet? 

Amazon: Probably. Where's Kento? 

Ryo: Cramming in the kitchen.

*With impeccable timing, as usual, Rowen and Cye walk through the door, arms full of bags.* 

Cye: Hey guys! Lookie what we got! *He holds up a very small green-pink-and yellow Speedo with a big happy face on the rear side; everyone collapses in laughter*

Riana: Ooohhh SSSSSSSSSaaaaaggge!!!!!!

Sage*from upstairs*: Coming!

*He walks down with his arm around a pillow stripped of it's cover; eyes and lips drawn on crooked, wearing a few of Riana and Amazon's stolen clothes; and a mop for hair.*

Uh, Hi guys. Meet uh...Megan! Yeah, Megan!

Amazon: Pathetic Sage. Truly pathetic.

Riana: Alright Mr. Ego, let's go. Comin' Amazon?

*The two girls drag Sage kicking and screaming to the bathroom. A few minutes later giggles, screams, the sound of duct tape and aerosol cans filters downstairs.* 

Anubis: Do I want to know what's going on up there?

Kale: No.

Rowen *elbowing Ryo*: Well, I've learned a lesson. 1- don't promise something you can't deliver. 2- don't bet your reputation on it and 3-ESPECIALLY with Amazon or Riana.

Within a few seconds: 

Sage: PLLLEAASE! Don't make me! 

Riana: Ooohh yes.

*Amazon can barely stop laughing as they escort him down the stairs, complete with Speedo and pink and green hair* 

Kento*holding up a camera*: Smile! You're on RONIN camera!!!!

*Sage pales* I-Is that thing ON?!

Ryo: You bet!!

Riana: OH, and Cye, why don't you bring out our 'studio audience'?

Cye: sure thing. *Runs to open the back door* GIRLS!!! 

 * Sage almost faints when the last 10 or so of his ex-girlfriends come rushing in. *

Riana: See what a clown you left behind, girls ? He dresses like this EVERY weekend

Ryo: He's a part time clown, you know.

Sage: Julie? Amber? Krys? GEEZ HOW MANY DID YOU INVITE?!

Amazon: Oh about every single girl you EVER went out with. *spins Sage around 

to show the little happy face on his butt; Sage tries to cover it up with his 

hands* 

Sage: No! Get me outta here! 

Cale: I never knew Halo could be so red. 

Dais: I never knew he wore Speedo's.

Sekh: That's one part of him I NEVER wanted to see.

*Snickering* Anubis: Yeah, no kidding.

Cale: You would think such a flirt would be more careful 

Dais: I guess the connection from his brain to his mouth's a little rusty

Cale: Yeah, but the one from his mouth to his ego's doin' just fine

Krysta: Geez Sage, I thought you were a clown before but...

Julie: No kidding. You know, he did have such good taste, but know I'm really beginning to doubt that.

*Laughing* Tara: Maybe he had some help getting dressed the mornings we saw him.

Sage*sinking to his knees*: PLEASE! I can't take it anymore

Riana: Well then, you shouldn't have dished out so much.

Sage begins to cry, kneeling at Amazon's feet: PLEASE! I'll never tease you about Ryo again! I swear!  
Riana*snickering*: We'll see how long never is…

Amazon: Alright alright already! I can't stand to see a grown man cry.

Rowen: are you sure about the "man" part?

Amazon: Yes. 

*Sage runs upstairs and jumps into the shower* Hey! Where's my shampoo?!

Riana*pulling the bottle out from behind her back*: Sigh. Better go give blondie-no-longer his shampoo. We should do this more often.

Amazon: Hey Kento, you have the tape? 

Kento: Yep! *Holds up a tape* 

Amazon: *smiling evilly* Well we don't have to stop here, Riana. There's 

always school.

Riana: Oooh...that's right.... and I'm on the journalism crew, remember? 

Ryo: Ooo- this could get ugly

Riana: And there's the yearbook....

Cale: We're gonna leave now but send us a copy of the school paper, kay? 

Amazon: Sure thing. 

Kento: Can we eat? I'm hungreeeyyy. 

Cye: Fine.

Moral: Do not challenge girls when your reputation is on the line. It could be fatal.


End file.
